Tag: denial
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Imperfect
If all you see is the best of me then how can I show up imperfectly? 🌻
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Finding Voice
I’ve lost my voice. It didn’t just suddenly disappear. It was silenced, many decades ago, by fear. Held prisoner in a cage, the bars woven from his anger, his control. Only allowed out to play the role of the dutiful, obedient, strong, clever son that only existed in his head. But the prison of long…
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I choose Me
Sometimes it feels as if there’s not enough hours in the day. Before I’m barely awake my to-do list is already piling up, threatening to overwhelm me. A million different things fighting for my attention. Prioritize. Some days I’m able to regulate myself, pace myself; consciously manage my time. Balance the ‘have-tos’ and the ‘want-tos’.…
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How are you?
The simple, autopilot answer would be, “I’m fine thanks, how are you?” “Fan-flipping-tastic!”, would be my go-to sarcastic, defensive response. The more honest answer would be, “I’m surviving.” No doubt said with a rueful smile to show that really I’m ok, but have no desire to pursue that avenue of conversation any further. A simple,…
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Lost … Panic … Grief … Found
I didn’t know who I was anymore. I didn’t know what I wanted or where I was, or even when I was – certainly not in the present! Life had become so painful that I didn’t want to do it anymore. I felt useless … hopeless … helpless … pointless … less … less ……
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Denial … Acceptance …. Detachment
Drop the mask. There’s parts of me that I deny, because I’m too scared to show them: I don’t know what to do, I’m upset, I’m scared, I’m afraid of the consequences if I get it wrong, It’s too scary to be vulnerable, to show my feelings, I don’t even know what I’m feeling, I’m…
To The Core 