Tag: truth
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Things I wish weren’t true
A family fractured beyond repair – unimaginable loss shocks to the core. Unenviable position to be sole heir perched on a knife edge between hope and despair
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Grief
Feeling cast adrift, forever lost at sea; Pounded by waves, a deluge of “if onlys”.
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Nothingness
Feeling nothing – not upset or annoyed. Subsiding into numbness, all-consuming void. Nothing to say, no words to soothe. Mind, a blank, muffles the truth. Being nothing – remaining inert because doing anything takes too much effort. Drifting in nothingness here to stay where nothing can reach me now go away
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What happened?
Do you want to hear What happened to me? Are you prepared for brutal honesty? Skeletons in the closet, risking transparency. Revealing myself now terrifies me. Have I forgiven them? so important to you; And fears for my mother, Did he hit her too? Your conflicted emotions? not my responsibility. Holding myself takes all my…
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Holding
Holding tightly, tensed emotions; Feeling unsafe, fearing exposure. Hold it all in, invisible chains; muscle memories, bound in shame. Holding others at arms distance; Don’t come close. Fight inner resistance. Hold it together, can’t fall apart. No reprieve, constricts the heart. Hold your tongue. Silence your voice. Stagnant secrets, costly choice. Holding back, quietly reserved.…
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Moving Towards Wholeness
Legacy of trauma, the body keeps the score; Waking and sleeping, fearing next footfall. So I move my body, tender feelings break open, strength to surrender, release raw emotion. Legacy of trauma, banged into my head; Destroys peace of mind, an ever present dread. Buried in books, immersed in learning; Through understanding comes love, education…
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In Celebration of Dissociation
Claiming the power of dissociation; of not being present to soulless violation. Drawing fresh strength from recognition that innocence remains, intact and unbroken. Shamed for an absence perceived as abandonment; Forgiving myself, despite others judgement. Accepting raw scars still inviolably innocent. Taking only what’s mine, the remainder their punishment.
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#MeToo
The unspoken power of resonant truth. A shy smile. A nod. I’ve been there too. I know what you mean. Simple validation. You’re not alone. Gifting Recognition. Receive the gift, of shared solidarity, Carry it forward with equanimity. Feeling compassion, I see you too. You’re not alone. I believe you.
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Access Denied.
Dear parents, I’m too angry to talk; Yet you consume my thoughts. Painful paradox of betrayal. What would you say if you could see me now? You may say you approve. But why should I allow your opinions to matter? It’s for me to decide. It’s too late for you to turn the tide, to…
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Reconciliation
I’m done with holding this anger and pain; It’s sucking me dry, exhausting to maintain inner levels of fury, outer facade of calm; reaching critical mass, causing me harm. And yet … I keep holding it up for all to see. Claiming moral high ground, seeking sympathy. Loosing sight of meaning, muddled up in my…
To The Core 