Tag: survivor
-
Lullaby of Unsafety
Unsafe. Feel the ground shifting. Unsafe, attacked from all sides. Unsafe, heartbeat pounding, primal trigger, fight or flight to survive. Unsafe. Angry bomb ticking. Unsafe, primal alert. Unsafe, ears are ringing, body-bound senses hyper-vigilance. Unsafe. Pendulum swinging. Unsafe, unknown terrain. Unsafe, words are fleeing, protectively silenced, frozen in shame. Unsafe but defences are holding. Faint…
-
At a loss
It’s a terrible feeling to lose a sibling, as if part of my being has ceased existing. A bittersweet agony I wouldn’t recommend, piercing far deeper than losing a friend. A part of my heart feels lost without them, refusing to believe I’ll never see them again. Yearning for just one more conversation, to ease…
-
Trust
Plagued by questions that have no answer; A search for truth, pulling us under. Futile flailing only muddies the water. Caught in a current, nothing to hold on to. Tossed and turned in the torrent of life. Bruised and battered, struggling to survive. Glimmers of hope, a will to thrive. Trusting the process, could you…
-
My Patchwork Heart
Sewing the pieces of my heart back together, with surgical precision, a delicate endeavour. Sensing the guidance of spirits and elders; a work of love, for sons and daughters. Each piece a moment frozen in time. Memories of childhood, my sisters hands in mine. Joy of birth. Fast forward. Rewind. Holding my mothers hand as…
-
Holding
Holding tightly, tensed emotions; Feeling unsafe, fearing exposure. Hold it all in, invisible chains; muscle memories, bound in shame. Holding others at arms distance; Don’t come close. Fight inner resistance. Hold it together, can’t fall apart. No reprieve, constricts the heart. Hold your tongue. Silence your voice. Stagnant secrets, costly choice. Holding back, quietly reserved.…
-
Moving Towards Wholeness
Legacy of trauma, the body keeps the score; Waking and sleeping, fearing next footfall. So I move my body, tender feelings break open, strength to surrender, release raw emotion. Legacy of trauma, banged into my head; Destroys peace of mind, an ever present dread. Buried in books, immersed in learning; Through understanding comes love, education…
-
In Celebration of Dissociation
Claiming the power of dissociation; of not being present to soulless violation. Drawing fresh strength from recognition that innocence remains, intact and unbroken. Shamed for an absence perceived as abandonment; Forgiving myself, despite others judgement. Accepting raw scars still inviolably innocent. Taking only what’s mine, the remainder their punishment.
-
#MeToo
The unspoken power of resonant truth. A shy smile. A nod. I’ve been there too. I know what you mean. Simple validation. You’re not alone. Gifting Recognition. Receive the gift, of shared solidarity, Carry it forward with equanimity. Feeling compassion, I see you too. You’re not alone. I believe you.
-
Access Denied.
Dear parents, I’m too angry to talk; Yet you consume my thoughts. Painful paradox of betrayal. What would you say if you could see me now? You may say you approve. But why should I allow your opinions to matter? It’s for me to decide. It’s too late for you to turn the tide, to…
-
Ode to Trauma
My childhood was a minefield, mind where you tread. Buried bombs keep alive, old stories I forget. Waiting for the next footfall, triggering regret. What’s music to you, fills me with dread. Fighting inner battles, casualty count unknown. Narcissistic neglect, no one there to atone For Abandonment. Abuse. The words hit home, Piercing shame in…
To The Core 