Tag: CPTSD
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Knowing
Early, sun glistens on dewy grass. Healing waves soothe heavy heart. Warmth and light on closed eyes, Unlocks cold memories inside. Wind, sun and sea – external forces, Ebb and flow, as dream-like choices, To rest, undisturbed, for countless hours; A lucid dream, untouched by nightmares. An inner universe brings healing, Reachable by simply being.…
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I’ve got this!
I’m proud of you! So kindly meant. Sweet simple words, truly a compliment. But my mind’s on alert, to me it’s confusing – as foreign language it’s without meaning. Why would you say that? It wasn’t invited. What’s your intent? Vigilantly guarded. Still on my mind many hours later. Pin pricks of doubt what were…
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Imperfect
If all you see is the best of me then how can I show up imperfectly? 🌻
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At the window
Stood at the window, Forehead pressed against glass. Watching and waiting, Unaware of time past. Stood still at the window, Eyes staring, misted glass. Hot breath obscures visibility as headlights drive passed. Statuesque at the window, Nose cold against glass. Slow shallow inhale, Heart beat painfully fast. Stiffen, silent at the window, Listening for tyres…
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Renovating
I’m under renovation, closed for business today. I have inner work to do with the utmost urgency. I’ve put it off for so long fearing mess and disruption. I can’t delay any longer – infrastructure is crumbling. I’m under renovation, closed for the foreseeable future. Apologies for the inconvenience, it’s not just a rumour. Old…
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Learning to Feel: An Intro
You’re writing your autobiography. What’s your opening sentence? I wanted discomfort, opportunities for growth. You challenged me like no other until I broke. I’m still so fragile, a vulnerable fledgling. Never tested my wings, please don’t push me out the nest yet… I have so many doubts. To trust is too risky. No one feels…
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Snippets:#1
I’ve been so busy no time to write. So here’s some snippets of thought that arise. My body feels broken, nerves jangled and frayed. Existentially in crisis, emotionally disarrayed. No rest for the wicked, merciless forward drive. Impulsively overcommitting, self-sabotage to survive. After times of expansion, contraction arises. To rest feels unfamiliar, but nourishment is…
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Naked and Afraid
In the expanse of this moment truth comes all too near a palpable fear exposure too dear a single stray tear. Defensive unconsciousness seduced by familiarity saturated normality no scars for clarity questioning reality. Frozen in silence stark questions asked hear answers at last seeping from the past a suffocating mask. On this upending journey…
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Learning to Feel
How am I really feeling right now? I’m feeling ashamed for speaking out. I should have stayed silent, been an empathetic listener. Not opened my mouth, revealing my ignorance. How am I feeling? It’s funny you ask. I’m full of self-doubt, feeling inadequate. I want to stop, pull back, halt this downward spiral. Adding judgement…
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Appreciation
I’d like to say a few words to celebrate me. I prefer to keep a low profile, normally. Now that I’m a quinquagenerian, (No it’s nothing to do with vegetarian), Its simply that I’ve finally turned 50! I’d like to thank you all for being here today. I’m so grateful and I can honestly say:…
To The Core 