Tag: CPTSD
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Happy birthday Mother
Another year passes, her memory preserved. Her birthday indelibly etched in my heart. The hours pass slowly. More questions than answers. Did she know? Where was she? How to hold the dichotomy? No tears of longing, only sadness, despair. Why cry for a mother who was never there? 🌻
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What happened?
As a child of abuse I’m still trying to find Who I am Outside the walls Of dysfunction. As a child of abuse I live in survival. Fear every shoe fall. What’s round the next corner? As a child of abuse, Restrained, arms distance. Vulnerability, too risky. Tears? Laughter? Unsafe. As a survivor of abuse,…
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Permission To Cry
Let the tears flow. Release, inner healing. Let the tears flow. Wide open, cleansing. Emotions repressed Need expression. Let the tears flow. You have permission. 🌻 Inspired by words from Benoit. With deep gratitude 🙏🏻
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Betrayal
Your words and your actions are not in alignment. You say that you love me, but where are you now? I turned towards you in a moment of weakness. Your version of love feels more like betrayal. I’ve been your protector, co-dependent, dysfunctional, But your abandonment revealed, in reality, I used you, to protect me.…
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Listen to Your Heart
It’s over! What keeps you stuck in your seat? The curtain descended, the scene complete. This drive, keep pushing! Just a few minutes more? The urge to go further, get out there, explore. It’s late now, so weary, time to rest. What keeps you awake, glued to your desk? Stop it! Take a moment to…
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Why?
What’s your motivation? Are you even aware? Self abandonment, Seeking recognition, Leads to despair. 🌻
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Stay On The Balcony
Stay on the balcony, a silent observer. The dance floor is crowded. The rhythm, too fast. A quick-step, a foxtrot, Fast, fancy word play. A stumble, you’ll tumble, Get trampled beneath. Stay on the balcony, not on the dance floor. Words spoken aloud, inflict pain and regret. No treading on tiptoe, or verbal dexterity, To…
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Do The Opposite
If the way that you’re thinking Is not working for you, Then do the opposite. If life feels too hard, You’re done sucking it up. Then do the opposite. If you’re running after people who aren’t there for you. Then do the opposite. Don’t think the same thoughts, over and over. Don’t suck it up,…
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Too Sad to Talk Right Now
Too sad to talk. Paint on a smile. Blank as we walk. Seek distraction. Idle chatter. Thoughts an intrusion. Drive to escape. Dark roads pull me back miles, decades. Painful feelings. Too much emotion is overwhelming. Fly high, far away. Seek out the light of a fresh new day. 🌻
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Just Breathe
My head’s in a muddle, My mind is a mess. Too hard to stay focused. Again, I digress. Still skirting around, Avoidance my mission, The abyss that is lurking At the edge of my vision. Don’t shut your eyes. Keep focus ahead. Don’t freeze, keep going. Move forward instead. Allow space to breathe. The mind…
To The Core 