** Trigger warning **
This poem is about trans generational (physical, emotional and sexual) trauma and abuse
Two exiled parts buried, Thrust down so deep.
I knew all along. That’s why no sleep.
Peace of mind eluded me. How could it not?
When I had denied myself
and forgot.
Two protective parts of me, both knowing the truth.
One escaped to my branches and one to my roots.
With rusty steel girder locking them apart, all awareness focused instead in the heart.
Denied each other for far far too long
Until breakdown - extraction.
All protection gone.
Two kind healing hands, with my permission,
Delve deep within my psyche to heal the lesion.
Heart wrenching. Torturous. Low punch in the gut.
Brutal, sobbing. Vomit it up… …
It’s nighttime,
I touch soft velvet teddy,
A portal that takes me
straight back to daddy.
Straight back to school days,
Mother’s gone, visiting
Family up north,
no one to witness him…
Pressure on neck,
palm turning my face.
He can’t bear for me
to see his disgrace.
The shame and torture,
Unleashed a monster.
At one time the Victim,
he became perpetrator.
Breathe …
I’m only seven. I don’t have vocabulary
To attempt to report. What has happened to me?
Breathe …
Find comfort, protection under my wing.
Soft cashmere blanket, no more suffering.
Poor broken baby, so tender and young.
From where did this toxic legacy come?
What was done to him? no protection from mother?
He violated us, father to daughter.
Finally! the parts so long divided,
Now reunited - together invited
To take rightful places at the table
Show up! Be heard! Unmuted & visible.
Burn the old table! A campfire will warm us!
All parts are welcome, show up and chorus:
“STOP! No more!”, this inheritance has run
it’s course. Exposed, the curse undone.
“It’s over! You can’t hurt me ever again!”
“We’re changing the future!”
A fresh new chapter begun!
🌻
To The Core 